I recently realized it was time to make some changes in my life. I've made too many life choices that were easy, now it's time to make some that are hard.
So the question is what do I want to do with the rest of my life and what am I supposed to do? I have considered studying costume design and/or set design and working in films and movies. If I do this I could go to quite a few schools and shouldn't have too much trouble getting into a good one.
However lately my muse has led me back to fashion design. I've sketched 15 dresses, 3 shirts, one ring, and one fascinator in the past 2 weeks. Sometimes as many as 6 things in one night, it's like a slide show playing in my head full color and everything. I'm almost wondering if I'm channeling someone, that wouldn't be unheard of for me, albeit a bit unusual. The biggest issue with this is the best schools are expensive and in big cities where I don't know anyone. The very best, Central Saint Martins, is part of the University of the Arts London, and costs about $21,000 a year just for tuition. I really wouldn't mind living in the UK, it's where I want to eventually move to anyway. I'm just not sure how I would ever get that kind of money to afford to do that. The really weird thing is that the best schools are mostly in Europe and are actually less expensive than the ones in the United States.
Even if I don't make it as a designer I could still become a stylist. Good ones make pretty good money, though they tend to do a lot of freelance work. So many possibilities, so many interesting, nearly impossible choices to make.
I'm also worried that my age and disability could hinder my chances to do what I really want to do. Then again God never leads you to something if he doesn't have a plan for your success. I think I'm just soooo scared because it's a huge leap and I don't appear to have a net below me. I have to do it though, I should have done it 20 years ago and I didn't. It's exciting and scary and wonderful all at the same time.