Friday, February 3, 2012

What would normal look like?

Sometimes I wish I could be normal just for a day.

I could express how I feel without pissing people off.
I could get things done quickly and efficiently.
I could feel confident enough to go places by myself like church or just for a walk.
I could walk into a store and not panic, because they moved everything around.
I could go where there are crowds of people and not get panicked.
I could sweep and mop the floors without hurting my back.
I could go up and down stairs without my knees bothering me.
I could be supportive without overdoing it.
I could spend time with my friends without worrying about being annoying.
I could express concern for others without acting overbearing.
I could hear people arguing without becoming anxious.
I could take criticism without it affecting my self worth.
I could go someplace without weird smells bothering me.
I could tolerate loud/weird sounds and music, without wanting to cover my ears.
I could wear scratchy sweaters and things with tags, without wanting to scratch my skin off.
I could think clearly and not be distracted by every little sound, movement, and shiny object.
I could tolerate overhead lights, without wanting to wear a hat.
I could tolerate messy rooms without wanting to hide.
I could fill out paperwork without feeling overwhelmed.
I could look in the mirror without seeing every flaw.
I could figure out how to be happy by myself.
I could talk to people without taking things literally.
I could stop obsessing about the future, and what may or may not happen,
and just enjoy the present.

I am not normal, I will never be normal, I can only ever be me.
However perhaps in time and with help, I could become a better me.


  1. Far too many of those can I relate on.... I don't even necessarily want to be normal. I just wish there were more people out there with my interests and values who wouldn't take everything I say the wrong way and make me feel like crap -_- ... apparently that's a tall order. *sighs*

    I love you though, Lisi. You don't have to feel awkward and worried around me :)

  2. You can't imagine how much your words mean to me, especially with everything I'm going through right now. I love you too!