Loving Kindness

I have learned that stuff doesn't matter,
but God and people do.
That God is more interested in what's in my heart,
than in my house or on my body.
How I treat others is more important
than what I do for a living.
That God knows my needs before I do
and he always provides for me.
My words might not come out right,
but He sees what's in my heart,
he sees my true intentions.
He gives me every good thing
and asks only for gratitude.
He extends His grace and mercy to me,
and expects me to do the same for others.
How could I not love someone as wonderful as He is?
Thank You Lord for teaching me who you are
and who I am in you.

My Blessings: Week One

Day 1 of what I'm thankful for: A roof over my head, you never realize what a blessing it is until you face life without one. The hidden homeless are all around us and I happen to be one of them.

Day 2 of what I'm thankful for: My husband, no matter the circumstances, he has taught me so many things that I could never have learned any other way. Job 1:21

Day 3 of what I'm thankful for: My health. I have good days and bad days, the good days keep me going forward and the bad days remind me that I'm still alive. That alone is enough to make me grateful.

Day 4 of my blessings: Definitely my 4 parents, they may drive me crazy sometimes, but they helped shape me into who I am and I love them very much! ♥"

Day 5 of my blessings: my friends and extended family, you've all been so warm and supportive this past year, you can't imagine what that's meant to me.

Day 6 of my blessings: I'm thankful that I have the right to vote and was able to exercise that right.

Day 7 of my blessings: My 3 sisters and brother, I've learned so much from all of you and love and miss you dearly. ♥

Promises to myself for when I have income

I promise to:

provide flowers for myself once a week either bought or homegrown
get my hair done at least twice a year (Capri counts)
treat myself to a massage and pedicure on my birthday (Capri counts)
take myself out to dinner and a movie once a month (HyVee Chinese and Redbox do count)
buy one "new to me" book a month
buy one "new to me" article of clothing a month
put aside money so that I can do something nice for someone else every week
put money in a Christmas club account so that I can bless others
put money in a "just in case" kitty fund to provide for Boo and Nanos' needs
sponsor a child in another country
support the charities and ministries I believe in
become a foster parent
keep it simple, if it no longer brings me joy it doesn't belong in my life, pass it on
Tithe 10% and Save 10%
Thank God everyday for all my blessings!

I'm still a mother!

What Makes a Mother

by Jennifer Wasik

In memory of Zachery Wasik 

1/29/98-1/29/98

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a Mother

And I know I heard him say.

A Mother has a baby

This we know is true.

But God can you be a Mother

When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can He replied

With confidence in His voice

I give many women babies

When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime

And others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb

But there's no need to stay

I just don't understand this, God

I want my baby here

He took a breath and cleared His throat

And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you

What your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile

With other children and say

"We go to earth to learn our lessons

Of love and life and fear.

My Mommy loved me oh so much

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom

Who had so much love for me

I learned my lesson very quickly

My mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much

But I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep

On her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

And whisper in her ear.

Mommy don't be sad today

I'm your baby and I'm here."

So you see my dear sweet one

Your children are ok

Your babies are here in My home

And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me

Until your lesson is through.

And on the day that you come home

They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother

It's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much of

Right from the very start.

Through some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,

Until their time is done.

They'll be up here with Me one day

And you know you're the best one!

This poem has special meaning to me because back in the summer of 2000, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was expecting. We'd had a magical night while at a conference in New Jersey and he'd even said he was going to get me pregnant but I didn't really believe him.  I just remember feeling very much loved and desired, at the time that was more than I could have hoped for. 

When I found out 1 1/2 months later I was so excited, full of joy and happiness only to suffer a miscarriage 2 weeks later. My husband and I really never discussed it, I always wished we would have. It would have comforted me so much because at the time I blamed myself , thinking that I had somehow done something wrong, that I was a failure at being a mother. He pulled far away from me after that and I came to believe that he blamed me too. Now I know that I have Endometriosis, though that might not have had anything to do with it at all, it could have been anything that caused it. The main thing is I no longer blame myself but I still really don't like Mother's Day, because it reminds me of everything I lost. 

My baby would have been 11 this year, I miss him so much. I've always felt that it was a boy, perhaps because that's what I wanted, first a boy then a sweet little girl that would have had her daddy's heart wrapped around her finger. He would be her big brother and protect her when we couldn't. I feel this dream fading fast and it's such a bittersweet pain. This is my way of dealing I guess, letting it out and sharing it.

Too Soon

by Mary Yarnell

This was a life
That had hardly begun
No time to find
Your place in the sun
No time to do
All you could have done
But we loved you enough for a lifetime

No time to enjoy
The world and it's wealth
No time to take life
Down off the shelf
No time to sing
The song of yourself
Though you had enough love for a lifetime

Those who live long
Endure sadness and tears
But you'll never suffer
The sorrowing years;
No betrayal, no anger,
No hatred, no fears
Just love, only love, in your lifetime.

The Journey

The Journey

by Erin Vick Franklin

This great gift I have been given

I am not worthy of

It's only by the wondrous grace

Of my Lord above.

So I wait upon you oh Lord

I do not want to fall

It's your will I desire

Only your will above all.

I know you have great plans for me

But I just feel so lost

What do you have in store for me?

I will go despite the cost.

It is me my sweet child

That you are yearning for

It is me who is your destiny

I am your great reward.

My plan is for you to know me

And to become just like my son

I promise to come back for you 

When all is said and done.

For now enjoy my presence

Lead others to my grace

Don't worry about tomorrow

Simply live life for today.

I Forgive

“I forgive the tears I was made to shed,
I forgive the pain and the disappointments,
I forgive the betrayals and the lies,
I forgive the slanders and intrigues,
I forgive the hatred and the persecution,
I forgive the blows that hurt me,
I forgive the wrecked dreams,
I forgive the stillborn hopes,
I forgive the hostility and jealousy,
I forgive the indifference and ill will,
I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice,
I forgive the anger and the cruelty,
I forgive the neglect and the contempt,
I forgive the world and all its evils.”


She lowers her arms, opens her eyes, and puts her hands to her face. I go over to embrace her, but she stops me with a gesture.
“I haven’t finished yet.”

She closes her eyes again and raises her face heavenward.

“I also forgive myself. May the misfortunes of the past no longer weigh on my heart. Instead of pain and resentment, I choose understanding and compassion. Instead of rebellion, I choose the music from my violin. Instead of grief, I choose forgetting. Instead of vengeance, I choose victory.

“I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved
in return,
Of giving, even when I have nothing,
Of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties,
Of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and
abandoned,
Of drying my tears, even while I weep,
Of believing, even when no one believes in me.”

She opens her eyes, places her hands on my head, and says with an authority that comes from on high, “So it is. So it will be.”


Aleph by Paulo Coelho

Life's Little Instructions

Life's Little Instructions 

Sing in the shower.

Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

Leave the toilet seat in the down position.

Never refuse homemade brownies.

Strive for excellence, not perfection.

Plant a tree on your birthday.

Learn 3 clean jokes.

Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.

Compliment 3 people every day.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Leave everything a little better than you found it.

Keep it simple.

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Floss your teeth.

Ask for a raise when you think you've earned it.

Overtip breakfast waitresses.

Be forgiving of yourself and others.

Say, "Thank you" a lot.

Say, "Please" a lot.

Avoid negative people.

Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards.

Wear polished shoes.

Remember other people's birthdays.

Commit yourself to constant improvement.

Carry jumper cables in your truck.

Have a firm handshake.

Send lots of Valentine cards.

Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're terrific."

Look people in the eye.

Be the first to say hello.

Use the good silver.

Return all things you borrow.

Make new friends, but cherish the old ones.

Keep a few secrets.

Sing in a choir.

Plant flowers every spring.

Have a dog. <Or cat :)>

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Stop blaming others.

Take responsibility for every area of your life.

Wave at kids on school busses.

Be there when people need you.

Feed a stranger's expired parking meter.

Don't expect life to be fair.

Never underestimate the power of love.

Drink champagne for no reason at all.

Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.

Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."

Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know."

Compliment even small improvements.

Keep your promises no matter what.

Marry for love.

Rekindle old friendships.

Count your blessings.

Call your mother.

by H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Stuff

Stuff
they keep giving me more stuff
as if that will make me happy
as if stuff can fill this void
make my heart stop aching
it fills the room instead
frustrating me even more
keep your stuff please
let me have what I long for
give me home instead

Silver and Gold

These are my rings. They are not extravagant.
They do not sparkle with jewels, one is silver and one is gold.
They are well worn, scratched up, bent, and mishapen.
They are plain and simple, no self respecting thief would bother stealing them.
One was given with love and represents a vow I took ever so long ago "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part."
The other represents a lost treasure that when found was unwanted by anyone but me.
Sometimes I forget how precious they are, and view them as the world would see them, ordinary and nothing special. All it took to remind me was a tiny girl touching my hands and saying "pretty", because to her they are beautiful and amazing, unlike anything she's ever seen.

I think people are a lot like that. To the world they may seem ordinary and nothing special, but to God they are beautiful and amazing. What would happen if we saw everyone in our lives like God sees them? Even more amazing is what would happen if we treated them with love as the beautiful beings God created. Can you even imagine how incredible that would be? How many problems in this life would cease to exist if we treated others like God treats us? How many broken hearts and broken people could we heal? How many relationships could be mended if we treated the other person as being a precious gift to be cherished and not as something disposable, returnable, replaceable? I can only imagine. I have made that mistake before myself, it is something I will always regret.

The Paradoxical Commandments by Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.


© Copyright Kent M. Keith 1968, renewed 2001

What would normal look like?

Sometimes I wish I could be normal just for a day.

I could express how I feel without pissing people off.
I could get things done quickly and efficiently.
I could feel confident enough to go places by myself like church or just for a walk.
I could walk into a store and not panic, because they moved everything around.
I could go where there are crowds of people and not get panicked.
I could sweep and mop the floors without hurting my back.
I could go up and down stairs without my knees bothering me.
I could be supportive without overdoing it.
I could spend time with my friends without worrying about being annoying.
I could express concern for others without acting overbearing.
I could hear people arguing without becoming anxious.
I could take criticism without it affecting my self worth.
I could go someplace without weird smells bothering me.
I could tolerate loud/weird sounds and music, without wanting to cover my ears.
I could wear scratchy sweaters and things with tags, without wanting to scratch my skin off.
I could think clearly and not be distracted by every little sound, movement, and shiny object.
I could tolerate overhead lights, without wanting to wear a hat.
I could tolerate messy rooms without wanting to hide.
I could fill out paperwork without feeling overwhelmed.
I could look in the mirror without seeing every flaw.
I could figure out how to be happy by myself.
I could talk to people without taking things literally.
I could stop obsessing about the future, and what may or may not happen,
and just enjoy the present.


I am not normal, I will never be normal, I can only ever be me.
However perhaps in time and with help, I could become a better me.

21 Days of Inspiration, Wednesday: The Law of Least Effort

I have no idea where this comes from as someone had posted it on a forum I belong to, however I found it helpful so I thought I'd share. Enjoy! ;-)




21 Days of Inspiration
Wednesday: The Law of Least Effort


When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and you're able to create anything you want. When you seek power and control over others, you waste energy chasing the illusion of happiness. Set your intentions on expanding love and you will be able to manifest your desires with effortless ease.


"The softest of stuff in the world quickly penetrates the hardest. Insubstantial, it enters where no room is." ~ Lao-Tzu


Week 3 - Day 18 - Acceptance 


When everything is flowing according to our idea of how things should be, it's easy to feel in harmony with the rhythms of the universe. When there is a lack of alignment between what we want and how our life is unfolding, we're more likely to feel disharmony, stress, or frustration. Yet it is our resistance to what is happening in the present moment that intensifies our distress. Whether we're getting a root canal or finding out that we've lost our job, our fear and the frightening stories we tell ourselves about our situation magnify our pain.


The present moment is not always easy to accept, but learning to listen to the sensations in our body and the message they are sending will calm our emotional turbulence and ultimately will enable us to benefit from the experience.


Connect to your body, accept this moment, know that change is inevitable, and become clear on what you would like to see manifest. Your ability to co-create the next moment requires acceptance of the present.

...and Now for Something Perfectly Silly ;-)

In honor of National Draw a Dinosaur Day may I present my drawing (click on it to see a bigger version):

     “There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes.”

The RESOLUTION for Women

I do solemnly resolve before God to embrace my current season of life and live with a spirit of contentment.

I Will champion God's model for womanhood and teach it to my children.

I Will celebrate my God-given uniqueness and the distinctions He has placed in others.

I Will live as a woman answerable to God and faithfully committed to His Word.

I Will seek to devote the best of myself to the primary roles God has entrusted to me.

I Will be quick to listen, slow to speak, and esteem others more highly than myself.

I Will forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

I Will not tolerate evil influences in myself or my home but will embrace a life of purity.

I Will pursue justice, love mercy, and extend compassion toward others.

I Will be faithful to my husband and honor him in my conduct and in my conversation, and will aspire to be a suitable partner to help him reach his God-given potential.

I Will teach my children to love God, respect authority and live responsibly.

I Will cultivate a peaceful home where God's presence is sensed.

I Will make today's decisions with tomorrow's impact in mind and consider my current choices in light of future generations.

I Will courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.---Joshua 24:15

From the movie "Courageous"

You can find the text of the men's version here.

The Prodigal Wife

Praying
long into the night
each breath
as laboured as the last.
Surely the
end will
come soon
as the sun rises
never has the pain hurt so much.
In the darkness
cold clammy hands reach
out for her throat
making her heart tremble as
early trains wail in the night.
Her eyes close as an
owl hoots
making it's way home
east and the sun is rising.

My Love and Apology Languages

I believe it's important to know what these are and crucial to know your partner's, if you're in a relationship. You can take the tests here. These are mine: Love Language Scores: 7 Words of Affirmation 8 Quality Time 1 Receiving Gifts 4 Acts of Service 10 Physical Touch Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score: The highest score indicates your primary love  language (the highest score is 12). It's not  uncommon to have two high scores, although  one language does have a slight edge for most  people. That just means two languages are  important to you. The lower scores indicate  those languages you seldom use to communicate  love and which probably don't affect you very  much on an emotional level.

Physical Touch This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is  Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding  hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face--they can all be  ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and  accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Apology Language Scores: 8 Expressing Regret 4 Accepting Responsibility 6 Making Restitution 0 Genuinely Repenting 2 Requesting Apology Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score: The highest score indicates your primary apology language (the highest score possible is 20). It's  not uncommon to have two high scores, although  one language does have a slight edge for most  people. That just means you may feel equally  receptive to two or more of the apology languages. Expressing Regret You have chosen Expressing Regret as your primary Apology Language. What you  want to hear in an apology is an immediate expression of sorrow for causing you  pain. A simple "I'm sorry" goes a long way.

Today I am Thankful for My Cats

Boo and NaNos

Today I am thankful for my cats.

They give me a reason 

to keep putting one foot 

in front of the other 

and keep moving.

I force myself because of them  

to get out of bed every morning 

to give them food and water.

They love me unconditionally 

they don't expect me 

to be anything 

other than what I am.

They don't care about 

what I look like

how much I weigh 

how different I am

or the things I say.

Even if they have a bad day

they don't hide away

they still want to be 

snuggled up next to me.

When I have a bad day

I know I can count on them 

to make me laugh

and let me cuddle with them.

I may not have much right now

but I'm grateful I have them.

NaNos and Boo

I love you!

Thank you God for these small blessings!

MaMas, Mijit, Merry, Pippin, and Molly 

Mommy misses you and Daddy very much.

Love Versus FEAR

by Saran Nean Bruce

Love is unconditional (FEAR is conditional)
Love is strong (FEAR is weak)
Love releases (FEAR obligates)
Love surrenders (FEAR binds)
Love is honest (FEAR is deceitful)
Love trusts (FEAR suspects)
Love allows (FEAR dictates)
Love gives (FEAR resists)
Love forgives (FEAR blames)
Love is compassionate (FEAR pities)
Love chooses (FEAR avoids)
Love is kind (FEAR is angry)
Love ignites (FEAR incites)
Love embraces (FEAR repudiates)
Love creates (FEAR negates)
Love heals (FEAR hurts)
Love is magic (FEAR is superstitious)
Love energizes (FEAR saps)
Love is an elixir (FEAR is a poison)
Love inspires (FEAR worries)
Love desires (FEAR Joneses)
Love is patient (FEAR is nervous)
Love is brave (FEAR is afraid)
Love is relaxed (FEAR is pressured)
Love is blind (FEAR is judgmental)
Love respects (FEAR disregards)
Love accepts (FEAR rejects)
Love dreams (FEAR schemes)
Love wants to play (FEAR needs to control)
Love enjoys (FEAR suffers)
Love frees (FEAR imprisons)
Love believes (FEAR deceives)
Love “wants” (FEAR “needs”)
Love versus FEAR: what do you feel?

Sarah Nean Bruce is a storyteller and filmmaker. Read more from her at sarahneanbruce.com.

Today I am thankful for my husband.

Isn't he a cutie? ;-)

Today I am thankful for my wonderful husband.


He is knowledgeable about so many different subjects,

and he takes the time to explain things I don't understand,

he is my teacher.

He is wise in the ways of the world and can help me to steer 

clear of dangerous situations and people, 

he is my common sense.

He has taught me to be more cautious and aware of my surroundings, 

he is my protector.

He pays attention to things that could make us sick,

like spoiled food and cross contamination,

he keeps us safe from harm.

He is extremely handy and knows how to fix just about anything,

he is skilled in things that matter.

He works many hours in unpleasant situations to provide for our family, 

even when he is sick and would rather be in bed,

he is hardworking.

He often does my laundry for me in the winter when it is cold

and the stairs too icy for me to traverse safely,

he is compassionate.

He makes weekly trips to the library for me, 

and brings me little treats and gifts he thinks I'll like, 

he is thoughtful.

When I ride with him I am never in fear,

he is one of the safest drivers I know,

he is responsible.

He would never do something to purposely hurt another person,

he is kind to other people and will go out of his way to help them,

he is giving.

He loves animals and has a wonderful way of making them feel special,

he is caring.

My husband is all of these things and so much more,

I love and have the utmost respect for him, 

he is uniquely special and an awesome friend.

The Physics of the Quest

 In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you. 

           ~ Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert 

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to rain slapping the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun fading into the night?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.


Do you run through each day on the fly,
when you ask "How are you?", do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.


Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a friendship die,
'cause you never had time to call and say hi?

You better slow down, don't dance so fast,
time is short, the music won't last.


When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
it's like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life isn't a race, so take it slower,
hear the music before your song is over.


David L. Weatherford

2012 goals and things I want to work on

• Go home to Iowa
• get started with Voc Rehab
• see a doctor 
• get my first mammogram 
• apply for SSI 
• Let go and let Mikey be in control. 
• Stop being critical, build Mikey up don't tear him down.
• Do my best to recognize and avoid princess fits and apologize if it happens.
• Have dinner ready when Mikey gets home from work.
• Get back on my stretching and exercise regimes.
• Go back to eating healthy meals 
• scoop the cat boxes every day
• don't go to bed until the dishes are clean
• spend quiet time in devotions every morning 
• do my own laundry whenever possible 
• vacuum the house once a week
• declutter my office and start packing it to move
• pack unnecessary things in the kitchen 
• pack up the living room 
• take a drawing class
• practice my sewing skills by making something using a pattern 
• using cat food bags make reusable grocery totes and sell them on Etsy
• make Tardis magnets using my medicine boxes and sell them on Etsy
• spend 1/2 hour every day working on my designs
• spend 1/2 hour every day creating things for the One Green Lid project 
• organize the coupons and utilize resources to make them as valuable as possible 
• make one new recipe from Jamie's cookbook every week 
• plan our menus 2 weeks in advance
• attend church services whenever possible on Sundays 
• learn to walk in high heels 
• purge any of my objects in the house that do not bring me joy
• make a personal budget every month and review it
• find a new home for Pippin 
• take one of my designs and make it real
• swiffer the kitchen floor once every 2 weeks and the bathroom as needed 
• work on building my self confidence 
• get myself on a more normal schedule 
• visit the farmer's market once a month